A teen and some soba
by mingathur
Summary: A series of drabbles about Kanda Yuu. Funny ,enjoyable and light-reading. Hope you like it, R & R pls!
1. Chapter 1

Author's words: This is inspired by the pic of Kanda falling asleep in the canteen with his cheek on his wrist. (Manga chapter 94) He's my favourite character even though he is uncouth and uncaring, but hey, he's cute. (And has long, luxuriant, smooth black hair.)

Disclaimer: Own not, hence sue not.

Chapter 1: A tired boy, some soba, and a bunch of what he will not call-friends

_From the midst of the storm, a solitary figure emerged. His gaze was cold, and nearly lifeless. A flash of the sword, the few abominations fell dead, sinews and body matter littered the floor around the figure. Fountain of blood and other body fluids mixed with the rainwater, falling down upon the young swordsman, sieving through his dark hair and draining down his fatigued body; over skin that was marred by battle scars. He allowed himself to be baptized by the blood of demons almost uncaringly as he re-sheathed his sword. _

_When he was sure that no more were following, he walked on. _

Kanda Yuu just returned to the black order, he is tired, hungry, cold, soaked and utterly grumpy. Of course, no one could tell. Firstly because there are less than 20 persons in the whole of the order who actually dares look at him in the face. Secondly, all who dared look at him in the face knew his temperaments enough to know that he was by default, grumpy.

There was nothing overtly wrong with his life that contributes to his general cheerlessness. Maybe just a few issues that no body else seemed to encounter or have problems with. Some examples being having a curse that enables him to do what The First exorcist cannot do-and hence sent to more missions than every other exorcist in the order.

Komui expresses concern. (It is irritating when he does), but he has got to do what a supervisor has got to do.

Generally, he did not mind. Going solo meant that he will not be weighted down by his so-called friends, Kanda Yuu had no friends, he did not need them. He did not want companionship; he wanted to finish his work fast.

_He was not human, and will not be bounded by the weakness of mere mortal. _

Fighting Akuma is within his job scope, it also enables him to travel more and narrow down his search.

His feet stopped at this point, and felt his blood pressure rise.

_He had to find that person soon, he might not have enough time left. _

By now he knew himself, he understood what was tired, he knew what was fatigue, but he had also tasted what it was like to go beyond tired and fatigue. It was a terrible feeling that will settle in like a mist over the dawning land; covering over him, shrouding him, encompassing him.

_Killing him_.

He knew, the wounds he sustained are no longer healing as fast as they used to. What would be left in the wake of a rapid healing should have been smooth, unmarked skin; but are now gradually being replaced by fine, discreet scars. At times, he could feel his own heart pumping a little harder just after minor exertion, and he wondered when the muscle will finally give out; and go on strike as a protest against its owner who worked it liked a slave driver.

He shook himself at this point, knowing that there is no point thinking about it. Death will come to any of the exorcist at any time, and he was no exception. Death is not to be feared, only failure. Dying is not too bad, it is regret that he did not want to live with.

His stomach rumbled, reminding him that his physical body was still very much alive and demanding nourishment. It had not had any for days.

He was still tired and hungry, but after so long on the road, his desire to get clean overrode the dissatisfied sounds made by his stomach.

In the common bathroom he realized he was alone, and he removed his torn, weathered and grimy attire and went for a quick warm, shower, washing the dirt off from his person and hair. Then swiftly went for a change of a simple white shirt and pants, his uniform was pretty much beyond repair.

He was surprised to see that there were still many people in the canteen grabbing a bite, but he did not care, it was not the people he missed. (And he was not so surprise to see Allen with a huge pile of food in front of him.)

Jeryy appeared happy to see him. And wordlessly handed him a large portion of the usual. When grunted his noncommited word of thanks. Jeryy gave a huge, warm, 'Welcome!' and threatened to hug him. He walked off quickly and guessed something or someone clearly made the man very happy. Once he settled down on an empty table behind Allen, he remembered what he missed most about being perpetually on missions.

_Soba._

Those noodles are the only thing that reminded him he was still human; _or maybe he was not_. For nothing could compare to sinking one's teeth into the longitudinal bodies of the chilled, smooth, tender noodles dipped in mildly salted, fragant sauce. After the initial outburst of flavour, it will be followed by an aftertaste that is bitter yet sweet at the same time. And the whole cycles starts anew upon the next mouthful. Eating soba was an experience that was virtually, the only thing he considered close to _enjoyment _if he actually had any inkling of what that word meant.

Before he knew it, he was done. Now, clean and well-fed, he found himself relaxing for the first time in weeks. He leaned his cheek on the base of his palm as he took a sip of green tea, and allowed himself to close his eyes for a bit.

The world around him settled, and in his relaxed state he found his attention scattering, though still keen and sharpened, they focused on everything and nothing. Allen was slurping very loudly on his noodle soup, Tim was sinking its teeth into something soft, probably dango. Johnny and Tapp was muttering something about food bills. In a distance he heard Lenalee and Lavi chattering as they entered the canteen, Lavi's footfalls were heavy and careless, whereas Lenalee's were light and graceful, as if she was merely gliding on the floor and did not quite belong there.

For some reason, doing a headcount -checking whether they were still alive-felt like the right thing to do. It confirmed that all was well, even just for the moment.

He slipped further, knowing that there was no danger, no demon lurking behind or beneath him and waiting to finish the job of killing him. Maybe the next of Komui's inventions should give him some pause; but he shrugged those off as if they were flies, knowing that Lenalee will do something about it...

With those thoughts drifting around in his head, Kanda Yuu fell asleep.

Ooo

"Hey, is that Yuu-chan!?" Lavi thrilled as jogged towards the familiar figure, "He's back! It's really him!" Lavi exclaimed, Lenalee shushed Lavi, then stated, "I think he's asleep." And added as an afterthought while touching her shortened bangs, "And who else has nice hair like that in the Order?"

Allen turned around while wiping his mouth after his last bowl of Katsu don, and asked in a low voice. "Kanda? He sleeps?"

"Everyone sleeps." Johnny reasoned as he slurped his cola, though attempting to do it softly. "And you exorcist are all youngsters, you guys should sleep more. It's already past twelve!"

"Do you think he can still hear us?" Lavi said as he approached Kanda cautiously, and waved a hand in front of his face.

"Of course he can." Allen said jokily, "Then he'll slice us into sashimi with mugen. Oh crap! It's really right beside him."

"Do you think we can steal it?" Lavi plotted aloud. "Oh, I love to see how Yuu'll react!"

"Cut him some slack," Lenalee rebuked, though she seemed to be considering the prospects, "Stealing a fellow exorcist's innocence while he's asleep is hardly honourable."

"Still, it seems fun." Allen said thoughtfully.

"Allen-kun!"

"Okay, okay." He put up both his hands. "So should we wake him?"

"Yeah." Lavi replied enthusiastically, everyone else nodded.

"So who should wake him?" It was a moment where everyone subconsciously took a step back. All apart from Lenalee who was standing closest, right behind Kanda.

"No…no Lenalee you don't have to do it yourself…" Lavi stuttered as he came forward slightly, one hand stretched out as if toward off Lenalee.

"I remember this one!" Tapp recounted unenthusiastically, "The last time general Tiedoll did and half the canteen blew up."

Allen swallowed, "Really?"

"Nay, its fine. Just get ready to duck." Lenalee replied cheerfully as she gave a short laugh, she did not look like she was kidding.(Nooooooo!!! Tapp and Johnny went to hide behind the next, next bench) She laid her hands on Kanda's shoulder but made no further move.

"Lenalee…is there something wrong?" Allen came forward slightly, afraid that the hot-headed samurai will take up Mugen and chop the girl into half any moment. His finger itched to remove the sword first; for safety reasons of course.

"Hmm." She frowned, "Usually all it takes to wake him up is to touch him, he's a light sleeper you see." She paused, and called while jiggling him gently, "Kanda…Kanda."

"Yuu~~~chan. oh, Yuuuuuhoooooo~~" Lavi made the wolf-whistling noise, but was surprised when there was still no response. "Boy, he's wiped out. How many missions did he finish in a row?"

"Maybe we should just take him to the nurse's office." Lenalee said thoughtfully, "It isn't normal for him to be this tired."

"No no no, we should just leave him here for the finders to admire." Lavi said, "You hardly see him so adorable."

"Adorable?!" Allen exclaimed, the word did not match Kanda Yuu, and he doubted if it ever will.

But Lavi was right, people were bending in to examine Kanda's face, even those from the science department came closer just to have a look at Kanda in his nonthreatening state. Those who where walking past with their supper trays were stopping and stared. (Isn't that one of the exorcist? The pretty one? A boy, no?)

For once, there was no trace of worry, no sign of grumpiness on usually-creased brow. His features, while relaxed, were altogether elegant, and almost beautiful. He has the fair, perfect complexion that many Japanese are blessed with, and long hair that was shiny, smooth and straight, and appeared miraculously well-maintained.

"Actually." Johnny began, having departed from his refuge under the next, next bench, "If we ever have a good-looking competition in the Order, Kanda might just win." He patted Kanda's head gently, then turned to look at Lenalee, "You'll be first, of course."

Lenalee blushed. Allen fanned off the mental picture of Kanda as beauty queen. "Nurse's office then, if we leave him here some of the finders might just kill him."

"Who then?" Lavi asked as their gazes gradually converged on Tapp.

Ooo

Kanda Yuu opened his eyes, he was lying on a mattress that was unfamiliar, and covered with a blanket tucked up to his chin. It was dark, and the clock read 4.26am. He sat up in alarm and gave a short curse, berating himself for drifting off to sleep mid-field. The first thing he did was to look around for Mugen.

It was there, at his bedside, he snatched it off the moment he saw it and was lucid all of a sudden. He realized he was in the hospital wing, not in the wild and surrounded by akuma. The mugen seemed serene in its unactivated mode, quietly reassuring him that it was safe.

He noticed at this point that there was a sticky note taped to the hilt of his sword that is written in various handwritings.

'Tapp piggy-backed you.' _Beansprout's ugly penmanship_, 'He says 'eat more'.' There was a smiley with its tongue sticking out at him.

'Yuu chan, you're cuter when asleep.' _Lavi's elegant bookman cursive._

And beneath those two was a much shorter and tinier sentence.

'Welcome back.' _Lenalee's small, shy handwriting._

Kanda Yuu did not know, but he smiled uncharacteristically.

_Kanda Yuu did not have any friends..._

_Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo_

I'm Mingathur, R & R please. Reviews are the currency of fanfiction!

Some points I wanna clarify, firstly I have no idea what timeframe this picture is supposed to depict, I predicted two possibilities, one is before Kanda met Allen for the ghost of martel mission and the other is after they returned from the ark. Then I realized both didn't quite fit. Hmm.

Second, it is true that Kanda seems to have more missions than the rest. He rushed off after the ghost in martel, was still out during the Miranda and sent to look for general Tiedoll straight after.

Thirdly, please don't flame for me saying Kanda is pretty. He is. Hoshino Sensei said it himself on the character intro page in manga bk 2, 'He likes soba, tempura. Hates many foodstuffs. Too pretty, hard to draw.' Initially I thought he and Lenalee will turn out to be siblings.

Hope you liked this fluffy chapter!

Yours

Ming


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Kanda and the kid

_Kanda Yuu had no friends, he did not need any. There was no one in the Order who truly understands him. Those who attempted to were courting death; those who are attempting now, are idiots. He tried not to care, either ways was fine as long as they do not disrupt his somewhat peaceful life. He preferred to be alone anyway. _

Timothy was wailing.

"Shut it." Kanda glowered without opening his eyes. "Meditate."

The poor kid beside him was startled; he sat up straight and tried very hard to fight back his tears by biting down hard on his lips. Timothy was the newest addition to their scant number of overworked and underpaid exorcists, and the child had just returned to the Order from his first mission. Apparently, something quite drastic happened, and the 12- year-old kid has been waking up screaming and crying inconsolably every night.

The doctors diagnosed it to be emotional trauma and placed the boy on a course of meditation with the person who is -conveniently- always in the meditation room, just the boy's luck that the person was a nasty swordsman named Kanda Yuu.

"Concentrate. Blank your mind." Kanda commanded as his face twitched upon hearing the boy's whimper.

Kanda Yuu was not known for his patience, he was not in the business of teaching, and definitely not baby-sitting. And all he wanted to do was to stalk out of the back door as Timothy was brought in through the front.

_For crying out loud, everyone should know that he would first kill children before attempting to teach them anything. _

But also, he could not simply ignore the boy as it would totally ruin his own concentration with all the din that the boy is trying not to make. It was normal for older exorcist to teach the younger ones, just as Tiedoll had taught Kanda; but he was just not happy about the fact that he had effectively been blackmailed into coaching the boy. Komui had threatened to set Komui EX loose on Kanda's room if Timothy was not sleeping soundly by the end of the week.

The boy sniffled again.

Kanda sighed heavily, and scowled. "Tch." He wondered why such misfortune had to befall him, and why of all people, the doctors had to chose him to be sabotaged. Lavi's explanation had been, 'The docs probably thinks the kid just needs to build up his immunity towards scary things. You're the only one who fits the bill, Yuu chan!' After that, he had proceeded to prove his point by pasting uglily hand-drawn portraits of Kanda all over the Order and labeled it 'Beware of monster!' Allen simply laughed, then started badgering him all over about the ever-growing curse mark on his chest.

Kanda swore that one day he will chop those bloody bunny ears off that idiot, and maybe kill the beansprout while he was at it. Morons must be obliterated.

"If you're so scared, then don't be an exorcist…" He said through gritted teeth, trying not to translate his frustrations towards Lavi onto Timothy.

Timothy grew defensive, and glared at him with eyes widened by fear and accusation, "I'm not a scaredy cat!!" He snapped back, then dropped his gaze. "Anyone would be afraid…Bah! You wouldn't understand." Timothy said with a finality that caused the corner of Kanda's lips to quirk up in sheer mockery of a smile.

"Let's hear it, kid." He questioned as his gaze rose-or rather, dropped- to challenge the boy's, "What wouldn't I understand?"

The boy stiffened, on his small, round face there was a haunted look. As if Kanda's cynicism had caused him to recall some unpleasant things. The boy deliberated for a few more moments, then drew his knees to himself and curled up into a tight ball. In a tiny, muffled voice, he whispered the answer that struck a cord in Kanda's heart.

"…Dying…"

And this time, it was Kanda's turn to remember unpleasant things which he tried to wave off.

_No one should have to remember dying over and over... _

"I told you you won't understand!" Timothy continued fervently, ignorant of the fact that Kanda, _of all people, did understand_. And he began to throw a tantrum. "You guys are men, you're strong! I'm just a kid! And you cruel people have to send me to fight Akuma! There was a level two with some special ability that simply makes him immune to my possession… and I almost could not get back to my own body in time…it was…so cold…"

The boy wrapped about himself then, and Kanda could see him trembling like a wet puppy.

"You don't know what it feels like to die…" Timothy started ranting, and through his words he started sobbing anew. "So many of the finders did…you don't know…anything…they just kill them…like flies…"

"I do."

Timothy looked up, his eyes were red and swollen. He gazed at Kanda in surprise, then as if clinging to his words, questioned in a small voice. "Why will you know anything? You haven't died before. You don't understand how terrible it is…!"

"I have." Kanda replied emotionlessly, determined to get back to his meditating. Maybe it was the nonchalant way he spoke of death, or rather, the way he spoke of himself dying. For the look on Timothy's face changed, and he stared intensely at Kanda as if the older exorcist had just sprouted and extra arm or leg. Kanda took the chance to declare the topic closed.

"Happy? Now shut up and meditate like you're supposed to."

"But…you're alive now, aren't you? How can you say that you have died before??"

Kanda threw him a cold look, and hesitated before replying. "……Not all exorcists are human..."

Timothy went silent.

"…When…? What was it like?"

"……"

"What does it feel like to die?" Timothy pressed as he went closer and tugged at Kanda's sleeve.

"……" Kanda chose to pretend not to hear.

"If you tell me, I'll be good and shut up to meditate."

"Swear." Kanda challenged, his patience thinning. He cast a baleful glance towards the boy, "I can't trust you."

"Fine. I swear I'll be good and shut up to meditate after you tell me everything. That's how, what, when, why, where!"

"Tch. Deal."

Timothy looked as if he had just won a lottery, and Kanda wondered how anyone's emotions can change so quickly.

"How?!" The boy interrogated.

"Akuma."

"What happened then??"

"Stabbed through the chest."

Timothy scowled unhappily.

"Will it kill you to use a little more words? Can't you make it more descriptive and interesting and tell this cute little boy a proper story?"

"I don't usually waste other people's time, unlike you." Was his curt retort.

"Big brother Lavi and Allen both tell me very good stories."

"About rabbits eating bean sprouts, no doubt." Kanda replied in a monotone. Timothy burst out laughing, and Kanda could not see what he found so funny. So he narrowed his eye in disapproval and snarled, "Shut up."

"You're funny!" Timothy managed to reply while holding his tummy, after laughing his heart out, he pounced on Kanda once more and questioned. "You died right? When did it happen?"

"…I was nine."

"Nine?!" Timothy was miraculously silent for a moment, then counted off '12 minus 9'.

"…How did you know you died?"

Kanda did not reply for a while.

_He could not simply say that he remembered the moment when he lay bleeding copiously in the snow, with Tiedoll screaming his name in the background. He will never forget the moment where he heard and felt his own heart stop, the voices surrounding him faded, then nothing…_

"Tell me, tell me!!" Timothy pleaded, tugging harder at Kanda's sleeve.

There was a sound at the door.

"Sh." Kanda hissed, Timothy went quiet, he had heard it too.

Kanda silently cursed this day as the bickering got louder, and became discernable to his acute sense of hearing. Timothy still looked lost as he watched Kanda reach for Mugen.

_Great. It was moyashi and usagi. Maybe more…It's time to get back at those idiots._

"Kid, here." He whispered instruction into the child's ears. "Do it, I'll tell you the rest."

Ooo

Allen met Lavi standing outside the meditation room when Timothy started wailing, then they heard Kanda telling him to shut up.

Allen came closer, then annealed himself to the door.

"Why are you hanging around out here?" Lavi asked Allen.

"I'm trying to prevent Kanda from killing Timothy in case anything happens…" Allen confessed.

"Nay, that won't happen. He has a soft spot for women and children, won't lift a finger against them. Now go away."

Allen narrowed his eyes. "Then what are you standing here for?"

"Yuu chan, of course." Lavi gave a wink, and Allen was intrigued. "He's actually talking!"

"What's so weird about Kanda talking?" Allen questioned, he was getting impatient with Lavi's incomplete sentences. Lavi gave a sigh of complete exasperation, and looked at Allen as if he was a moron.

"You do know about Kanda's ability to regenerate, right?"

Allen thought back to the mission for the ghost of Martel. How shocked he was when he heard the ice-cold, robust voice of the fellow exorcist who was on the verge of death just three days ago. Allen nodded slowly.

"And the time when the level four attacked the Order, all the finders who were with Komui on the elevator died, Yuu chan acted as a security blanket but wasn't even scratched!! Don't you find it weird?"

"Hmm, now that you mentioned it." Allen rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "But some exorcist are like that, no?"

"You mean regeneration?" Lavi paused and did some quick thinking, then said, "Some…a few."

"What's so weird about it then?"

"Will he die?"

Allen frowned, "Excuse me?"

"Will Yuu chan die? I mean, if he can recover from any injury, fatal or not, will he ever die? And you know Yuu, he's so shy when it comes to things that has to do with himself!! Maybe he'll be more open to Timothy." Lavi concluded as he pressed his ear against the door.

"_You don't know what it feels like to die…" Timothy started ranting, and through his words he started sobbing. "So many of the finders did…you don't know…anything…they just kill them…like flies…"_

"_I do."_

Allen gasped, and did as Lavi had done.

"Allen, Lavi!" Krory said as he jogged happily towards the two, "What are you guys doing?"

"Shhh." Lavi hissed, "Listen."

"If he finds us here, he'll probably send those darn insects after us…" Allen muttered uncertainly, Krory nodded with a shudder, "I still have bite marks form the time in the ark…"

"…_When…? What was it like?"_

"……"

"_What does it feel like to die?" Timothy pressed. _

"……"

"_If you tell me, I'll be good and shut up to meditate."_

"What are you guys doing outside the meditation room?" Lenalee pranced over with a basket in hand, and asked as she saw her three fellow exorcists all pressing their ears against the door in a comical and very suspicious manner.

"Lenalee?" Allen asked, flustered.

"Shhh!!" Lavi hissed.

"_Fine. I swear I'll be good and shut up to meditate after you tell me everything. That's how, what, when, why, where!"_

"_Tch. Deal."_

"_How?!" The boy interrogated._

"_Akuma."_

"_What happened then??" _

"_Stabbed through the chest."_

"_Will it kill you to use a little more words? Can't you make it more descriptive and interesting and tell this cute little boy a proper story?"_

"Timothy sure has a way with our Yuu chan!" Lavi said gleefully, eyeing Allen.

Tim canpy bared its teeth at Lavi for bullying its master. Lavi was unperturbed, and in turn, stuck out his tongue at the creature.

"We shouldn't be eavesdropping on Kanda, right?" Lenalee whispered with a half frown. She did not make to remove herself from the crowd, she was not pressing herself towards the door either. "We should respect our comrade's privacy."

"I still say Kanda will kill Timothy, or himself if this banter goes on." Lavi said enthusiastically, ignoring Lenalee. .

"_When did it happen?" _

"…_I was nine." _

"_Nine?!" Timothy paused for a few moments. Then asked in a very quiet voice. "…How did you know you died?"_

The foursome held their breaths, and waited for an answer. A full minute of silence elapsed, and they could imagine Kanda grinding his teeth, deliberating whether to kill the boy.

"_Hey, big brother…Tell me!"_

"……"

"_Please…"_

"Come on, Yuu chan." Lavi pressed himself closer to the door, "Say it."

"When your heart stops, you know you're dead." An emotionless voice came from beside Lavi's ear.

And at that moment the foursome froze, and Allen could swear that his heart did stop for a moment, cold sweat meandered down his temple. The temperature dropped ten degrees, and no one moved, no one dared confront the source of wrath that stood behind them.

No doubt weapon in hand, with a cocky smile plastered to his elegant face.

"K…K…Kanda…?" Lenalee recovered first, and addressed the long-haired exorcist shakily.

"Mugen, activate." He said almost leisurely.

"Run!!" Lavi managed to yell out. "I don't want any more bite marks!!"

"Ichigen!"

"Noooooooo~~!!!"

Ooooooooooooooooo

Hi everyone, this is Mingathur. I hoped you guys like this chapter, it was birthed forth in a moment between stress and boredom. R & R please!

Kanda, defender of women and children. Lolz.

Oh yes, I almost forgot, what happened after the gang ran.

Ooooooooooooo

"Tch. Cowards." Kanda said in a low voice.

Lenalee felt someone rap her on the shoulder, she inched open her eyes to gaze at the face of her colleague. She was surprised.

"…Why didn't you attack me as well?"

Kanda looked at her coolly, as if wondering whether her question was worth answering. "…You're not that kind of person who eavesdrops."

"Big sister?" Timothy popped her head out of the room, and his face lit up as he saw Lenalee. And he leapt into Lenalee's arms, she gave a small smile. For once, Kanda was being almost gentle.

"You." Kanda barked as he tapped Timothy's head sharply with the hilt of his sword. "I fulfilled my end of the bargain, now meditate. And you." He turned to Lenalee, "Go away."

"I don't wanna leave big sister!!" Timothy clung on hard to Lenalee and threatened to cry.

"Tch."

"Actually, I 'm here to meditate with you guys. Here, I brought lunch..."

And the moment Lenalee opened the lid to the basket, she knew she had won Kanda over.

Within was a katsudon for Timothy, turkey ham sandwiches for herself…

_And a tray of tempura soba for Kanda._

She smiled warmly, and added, "Your favorite since we were small."

"…… Come in."

_Fine, maybe someone in the Order did understand Kanda…_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Smooched

_Kanda Yuu hated Allen Walker, period._

_When Allen Walker first came to the Order, they made him go on a wild goose chase for no good reason. And since then, he cringed inwardly every time that beansprout walks past, forcibly reminding him that this is the one enemy he did not manage to kill. When that had idiot made the mistake of antagonizing the level two akuma for the sake of him being a goody-two-shoes, Kanda was the one who paid the price; and was awarded a large gash that opened him from shoulder to hip and the moyashi did not even say sorry. _

_Not only that, he was also utterly irresponsible, terribly naïve and full of excuses._

_But those were not the only reasons why Kanda hated Allen with passion, there was another reason. Something very few people knows about, and if anyone else finds out, Kanda would kill Allen Walker, and perhaps himself so that he would never have to withstand the humiliation… _

It all started with a girl baking a chocolate cake for her brother's birthday…

"Kanda." Lenalee implored as she lifted a small piece of obscenely sweet, brown substance towards his mouth. "Help me try."

Kanda Yuu gave a frown that embodied all his displeasure at being dragged out of his meditation room only to smell something so sickeningly sweet, not to mention it was reeking of the astringent stench of alcohol.

"No." He replied instantly as he glared at the girl, then at the innocent brown stuff in disdain. "I won't touch that thing."

But he forgot, Lenalee of all people, was darn hard to deter, and not one of those who would back off just because he shoot them murderous stares. And, she also knew that no matter how angry or pissed he was, he would never lift his hand against a girl…She was using it to her advantage. Jeryy giggled behind Lenalee, and the kitchen staff were around, preparing the dishes that are to be served.

It was the night of Komui's birthday and naturally they are throwing a party. It was vey noisy out there, there were people singing off-key karaoke in a distance, adding to the din. Kanda had sought refuge within the fours wall of his meditation room, only to be dragged out by Komui's sister who is now getting cold feet about her cooking.

"Com'on." She repeated, pressing the scoop of brown substance even closer to his face. Kanda Yuu backed off involuntarily, he hated anything sweet, he retreated till his shoulder blades were pressed against the wall of the kitchen and there was no where else to run in the cluttered space. "Help me try! I need an opinion from someone who doesn't like stuff that's too sweet."

"Tch. No."

"Come on, Kanda."

"Which part of 'N' and 'O' can you not understand?" he snapped, almost losing his infamous temper. He hoped that he did not need to remind her that he was obviously not 'someone who doesn't like stuff that's too sweet', he loathes sweet stuffs, L-O-A-T-H-E-S.

She pouted unhappily, and looked rather pitiful as she gazed at the ground. Kanda relented a little, but just a little.

"Tch…Get the usagi."

"Huh?"

"Lavi. Doesn't like stuff that's too sweet." He added in an afterthought, not used to having to explain himself. Lenalee considered for a moment, then a smile light up her face, "Hey, that might work! Do you know where's Lavi now?"

He pointed outside where there was a huge pile of food on the canteen table, "Duh, with bean sprout."

"Yeah!" Lenalee was happy again, and Kanda wondered how anyone's moods can change so quickly, girls are a different species indeed. "I'll go find Allen and Lavi because Kanda is so mean he wouldn't help me."

"Tch."

"So I want you to stay before I get back, kay." A look of horror appeared on his face. And before he could muster the anger to protest, she turned to Jeryy and asked, "Jeryy, can you make sure Kanda doesn't go anywhere?"

"Roger." Was the cook's cheerful reply, he was kneading dough of some sort.

Lenalee also knew Jeryy was his other weakness, he had great respect for that man who can produce such wonderful soba and made an extra effort to be and stay civil to the Indian chef. And escaping would mean it will jeopardize his next meal, and Kanda knew he was effectively being threatened but is unable to do anything about it.

"Tch."

Lenalee took a small piece of the cake and went to the exit, "Later Kanda, be back in a bit!"

A few moment later, Jeryy turned to him and ask, "So, wanna help me with the new dishes?"

"Heh?" Kanda tossed his captor a poisonous glare, venting his frustrations towards Lenalee at the chef, but Jeryy was unperturbed. "I bet you'll like it. Six new kinds of soba!!"

Kanda looked at Jeryy in wonder, a small grin lighting up his face, though it probably came out as a smirk. Then he coughed to hide his embarrassment, he knew he was being childish, getting bought over by soba. And he wondered what Jeryy will think of him if he consented to the arrangement too readily…

"Who would want to help you cook?" He said instead, not looking at Jeryy, the chef only smiled warmly, "You will learn how it's done, and of course, do sampling. Whaddya say? I haven't got that many cute guys in the Order I can share my super soba secrets with." The chef said fondly as he rubbed his palms together, Kanda's respect for him grew. The guy was serious about preserving the quality of his cooking.

Kanda was tempted indeed, he chewed his lip a little.

"Come on, treat it as in-house entertainment before Lenalee comes back."

"Tch…Alright."

And he was led away by the chef, somehow not-so-reluctantly…

Oooooo

Few hours later.

In the men's washroom, Kanda rinsed his mouth out thoroughly with fervor, resisting the urge to puke.

The party was still going on, he just managed to escape.

Apparently, Allen had declined to try out the chocolate cake when Lenalee offered it to Lavi and him. It was weird, everyone knows Allen was a glutton. Lenalee was sad, and that was when the trouble began. Komui- the birthday man- declared that all will fall under the wrath of Komui EX if anyone dared refused his sister's 'wonderfully-delectable-ultra-supreme-premium-Martel-VSOP infused chocolate cake.'

Kanda was in the kitchen then, bathing in happiness as he tried the green tea-flavoured chaa soba. Within seconds, a whole tromp of the science department and kitchen staff surrounded him and dragged him out to be forced fed. In fact, everyone was made to eat at least two large pieces, including Allen and Krory. He really began to wonder how much alcohol that girl dumped into the cake as after the force feeding, a few of the finders started acting weird and in the mess someone even stole his hair tie. So now he has to keep the strands out of his face as he washed up.

A chorus issued from the ballroom now, and he guessed that Allen probably decided that he was a vacuum cleaner who loved chocolate cakes after all and finished whatever that was left.

And in those moments he regretted not carrying the Mugen with him, he could at least kill someone. This time he did not blame Lenalee, the cake was alright, just too sweet and stinky. It was Komui he wanted to be made to pay for all the grievances the man had cost him since day one.

"Tch." He cursed as he started to walk back to his own room, attempting to walk off some of the frustration. By the time he reached his room and rested his hand on the doorknob he felt calm enough to sleep.

He sighed as he caught Allen wobbling towards him from the corner of his eyes. Apparently, he found one more person with a low alcohol tolerance. Allen Walker looked positively drunk, he reeked of alcohol and was making his way towards Kanda unsteadily.

And as if Kanda Yuu did not have enough unpleasant surprises for one day, another was about to be added to the list.

"Moyashi, go throw up elsewhere." He snarled before Allen could get any closer to him.

Allen saw Kanda, and started advancing towards him at high speeds and was smiling gleefully, all the while calling out, "…li…."

Oddly enough, there were a few distraught-looking people chasing after Allen, and they were shouting something.

"Kanda, careful!!" Reever yelled, in front of the crowd with his long legs, Johnny and Tapp at the very last.

"What are you people up to?" he questioned irritably as the gang ran towards him and his precious room, "Careful of what?"

"Allen!! Don't become his victim!~"

"Bean sprout? Victim?" He laughed at the idea, wondering what Allen can do in his current state that can somehow victimize Kanda. He dared the damn bean sprout to do his worst as he gave the half-conscious guy a glare. He ran faster, crying out"…ali!!"

_Allen did his worst._

No, he did not activate his innocence. Neither did he produce a weapon from behind his back and stab Kanda with it.

Instead, his hands cupped Kanda's head and pulled him forward, "What the…?~!" and before Kanda could react, he had pressed his lips fully towards Kanda Yuu's and planted a big, juicy kiss on there.

The people behind Allen screamed. Some covered their eyes, Kanda Yuu could only stare myopically at the other boy's face in shock for a few moments as the incident registered before he mustered enough coherent thought to shove the younger exorcist away. Swiftly, he knocked Allen down and pinned him to the ground, one hand had wrapped itself around Allen's neck to strangle him.

"Moyashi!!" Kanda hollered as he raised his fist and delivered blows powerful enough to stun an elephant; the punches were fortified by every single wrong anyone else has ever done him because nothing bested what Allen Walker had just done.

"DIE!!!"

"Kanda san, stop!" Johnny shouted as he latched onto his arm. Attempting to stop him from killing Allen on the spot.

"Gedoff!" He yelled back as he shook the shorter guy off. Reever grabbed his wrists, "No, Kanda, I really want you to, but I can't let you kill him!"

"Why not?"

"Let go of him first, he's choking!"

"No, I'm gonna kill him!!"

"Kanda, stop! Calm down, listen to me!" Reever implored, "If he dies everyone will want to know why we killed him, and we'll have to tell everyone that you were kissed by a drunken Allen!"

Kanda considered for a few more moments as colour crept up his face, and Allen gazed back at him gleefully, then giggled, "You're…" The younger teen's human-looking left hand reached up, and landed tenderly on Kanda's cheek, it was a heart-stopping moment to the science department folks as he stroked the Japanese's teen's face with his thumb, then sifted through dark strands of his hair. "So pretty."

Kanda punched him again before he loosened his grip on Allen's neck. He had not choice, Kanda could imagine Lavi finding out and pronouncing them married. And he could feel heat crawling at his cheeks as he thought of what just happened, he wiped roughly at his lips, attempting to erase the memory of someone else's lips on his. He had just been smooched by another guy at that, the thought alone was utterly disgusting. He gave the now-asleep Allen one last vicious punch before letting go of his throat.

"Here's the deal." Reever's eyes were moving as if he was thinking fast, and he addressed everyone in the group. "We be hush hush, take Allen back to his room and pretend nothing happened."

"How about those who saw us running down the corridors chasing after Allen?"  
"Say Allen stole snacks from our pantry."

"Hmm, that makes sense."

"We're going to let him go this easy?!" Kanda snapped, eyeing the bean sprout with disdain.  
"We have no choice." Reever replied, "It's either this or you tell the world you were kissed by a man. Actually, he was forced to eat the cake, and later downed a whole bottle of wine, then ran off saying he wanted to look for 'her'. We could not stop him in time…" Kanda cringed at the idea, and once again felt heat blooming on his face.

"Tch. Idiot bean sprout." Kanda's hands itched for the Mugen.

"Kanda?" Lenalee's voice echoed down the corridor, near but just out of sight, everyone panicked, "Quick, before Lenalee becomes the next victim!! We'll take Allen, you go stall her."

"Stall her?!" he snapped, "How?"

"Dunno!" Reever said as he threw the Allen over his shoulder, and started running. "Anything to make her stay put!"

"Kanda?" Lenalee appeared with a smile, "Did you see Allen? Lavi told me he was looking for me, but I was at the bathroom."

Kanda felt his blood pressure rise, "No." He was not a good liar, and Lenalee knows.

"But…I heard you say something about an 'idiot bean sprout.'" She said thoughtfully.

"Can't I just 'Idiot bean sprout'?" He mimicked himself a few moments ago, it was hardly convincing, but he had to keep the girl safe.

"You're not gonna tell me, aren't you?" She said darkly, her patience thinning. Inwardly, Kanda wanted to pull his hair out and scream.

_Woman, can't you just shut up and listen to me? I'm trying to make sure you're first kiss doesn't get taken by a drunk!_

She snorted, then rounded past him and proceeded to walk down the same path Reever and gang had gone only moments ago, Kanda caught her wrist.

She wheeled around, "What?"

"I…" Kanda chewed his lip as he searched for something to say. "I need your help for something…"

The look on Lenalee's face was priceless, she widened her doll-like eyes and stared at the Japanese teen, wondering if he was the authentic one. The Kanda Yuu she knew never wanted help, and resultantly she was quite pleased he actually asked.

"Sure, anything." She said as she nodded happily, it must be something quite important, or he would not ask. "What do you need?"

"Er…"

"Go on." She encouraged the teen, taking his hands.

"…Lend me your hair tie."

Oooooo

Hey,

I can imagine Lenalee whacking Kanda right now. And yes, I think Kanda is not the type who can lie. Don't worry guys, I do not subscribe to Yaoi, so this story will not become one. But honestly, Kanda's hair and Lenalee's is tooooo similar.

Hope you like this chapter.

And oh yes, let's not forget Allen, read on!

Oooooo

Allen Walker opened his eyes, and a blaring headache assaulted him as light flooded into his field of vision. It was morning, his head was in pain and there was a muttering, droning Link by his bed who was swearing to ban alcohol from the Order.

Allen giggled happily.

Link threw a towel at his face, "It's morning, you probably have a headache that's killing you, like me and you're supposed to leave on mission in less than half an hour, no smiling."

Allen laughed. "Don't be such a scrooge. I had a wonderful dream."

"And no having good dreams." he repeated coldly.

"I met Lenalee in the dream, her hair's so long and beautiful…" Allen trailed off as he got up, and Link saw a blush creeping up his cheeks. It was intriguing.

"And?"

Allen looked at him, "She's so pretty...And…I kissed her."

Link looked at him, and laughed, "And if Komui hears your fantasies with his sister he will probably kill you and burn Timcanpy…But…how was it like?"

Allen turned redder, "It was vivid… I could have sworn it was real and…"

"Uh huh?"

"Her lips were…" He paused as he touched his own mouth, "…so soft…" Allen said wistfully.

Somewhere in the forest, Kanda Yuu sneezed.


End file.
